The number one way to stop abandoning your dreams

by Tara Agacayak on May 29, 2016

It was second-hand advice, but what I heard was “start showing up in our own life”.Tara Lutman Agacayak photo credit Julia Forsman IMG_1880

Show up when you get in the elevator and smile at the other people gathered there.

Show up when you’re walking down the street and say good morning to the person walking toward you.

Show up for yourself in a way you might not have before – by acknowledging a desire (starting a business) or finally becoming unavailable to a frustrating situation (like serving as the snooze function to get your family out of bed in the morning).

I’ll share my story in case it helps illustrate that last point.

After recovering from surgery, I was feeling well enough to work full time.

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Last summer I was working with a career coach to figure out how to get back into the work force in a job that met all my values.

After a decade of being self-employed I was nervous and unsure how to re-enter the formal job market, so she was coaching me on new tips and techniques.

One of the dozen or so values I identified was earning a high enough income to finance the lifestyle I desired – being able to travel back and forth between the US and Turkey.

Good morning from #California. #stainedglass #sunlight

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And on the other hand, I really had it in my heart to become a mom.

Either consciously or unconsciously, in my mind the two just didn’t seem to go together.

I knew that stress was not helpful to a woman trying to get pregnant, and yet I was seeking this stressful high-paying job in data science that would finance the lifestyle I desired. Which, by the way, was the lifestyle I desired in order to raise the children I hoped to have bi-culturally.

But nothing was budging and I was totally stuck.

I was doing everything I knew to find the job for me – I worked with a career coach, did informational interviews with dozens of people, started networking, started taking classes again to refresh my skillset.


Nor was I getting pregnant.

And there was this belief in me that felt like I couldn’t have both (especially after 40), even though I really desired both.

So as a result, I got neither.

Quite frankly, I was at the end of my rope. It is frustrating to be frozen in limbo like that.

But what I’ve learned since, is that when you aren’t getting what you think you want it’s because something much better is meant for you.

And at that time, when I resigned myself to the fact that I really did not enjoy the classes I was taking and really frustrated that I wasn’t getting pregnant, but I was doing everything I knew how to do on both fronts and I just didn’t see how I could build a family while I also re-entering the job force, the universe showed up with an angel messenger showing me a third option.

Underneath the surface of my job search/motherhood journey I had this limiting belief that they were mutually exclusive – that I couldn’t have both and I would have to choose one or the other.

But in my heart they really went together.

The bi-cultural lifestyle I desired came with a price tag (homes in two countries, air travel, etc.) and if I gave up my search for the high-paying job to focus on the family, I really only got half the dream.

Choosing one over the other meant abandoning my whole self.

And so, as I said, when you aren’t getting what you think you want it’s because something much better is meant for you.

Around that time this angel messenger showed up in my life and said, it is possible to have it all, but to have it all, that means you can’t do it all.

And when I heard that, I was listening.

I didn’t want it all, but I did want both, and nothing I was doing before that was working, so I started devouring the podcasts and webinars and programs this angel messenger was sending out.

And then my path became clear – return to coaching.

#listen #comfort #tea

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The message was to start showing up in my own life – to heed the call for work that would fulfill my desire for a bi-cultural lifestyle AND a family AND be of useful service in the world.

At that moment I decided I would take myself and my business more seriously and just start showing up.

Whatever that meant.

At first I started showing up by doing these weekly talks.

Then, I gave a workshop in Istanbul.

Then I made it available online.

Then I gave the same workshop in California.

And when I started showing up in my own life, guess what else happened …

I was able to be of useful service to others as well.

Celebrating the completion of Pelin’s book about #tea in#Turkey. #Sahi #Karakoy #Istanbul.

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My clients launched their books & non-profit organizations.

2015-10-03 16.44.42 Elmira Bayrasli Tara Lutman Agacayak photo credit The StyleIST

They completed documentary projects as Fulbright scholars.

They generated passive streams on income to contribute to their family finances.

They got featured on the front page of Etsy and sold their first jewelry design.

And that’s how these weekly mailers began, as my commitment to show up for myself so that I can be a useful contributor in my community through my business and personal development

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I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, but I knew I needed to do something productive.

I just needed to take the first step.

It was my commitment to myself, to you, to my God-given dreams, to my unborn children that I would start listening – seriously – to the desire of my heart.

That I would figure it out.

And my next step after showing up was investing in a business training and coaching certification program.

So that I can help you figure out your next step in your life and your business, if that is of service to you.

It would be my great joy to hear what your heart is saying with regard to how it would like to show up in the world.

If this is the right time for you, I am available to talk over where you are in your life and your business and how you can have both – or all – or whatever the case may be.

What are the beliefs that are limiting you?

And what is possible when you go beyond them?

I invite you to schedule a discovery call with me so we can figure out that path and how you can start showing up for yourself in your own life.

Bottom line, the number one way to stop abandoning your dreams is simply to acknowledge them, as crazy as you think they may be.

Schedule your Discovery Session here.

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